Couple Therapy

Couples have attended this office in couple therapy over the past thirty years. This psychologist has been married over forty years and he feels strongly about the usefulness, stability, and sanctity of marriage.

The procedure of coming to couple therapy is a little different from individual therapy and that is why the process shall be described in this page. Usually one person calls and that individual is given an appointment. The first session runs $250.00 for each individual because there is the completion of the history form, the one hour history session which is called the intake, and last the completion of a personality test so that the actual personality style and possible symptoms that each individual presents can be clearly understood.

In this practice I have seldom seen individuals who are too psychologically disordered to engage in couple therapy. However a good reason for each individual coming in alone for the first visit is to determine if they are capable of handling the stress of couple therapy. Unlike individual therapy, in couple therapy another individual is listening to everything you say and often disagrees with you, which can be tremendously stressful. In this office I go to great pains to have clients understand what their immediate needs are in utilizing couple therapy.

After each individual has undergone their intake appointment and have both completed their individual psychological test for personality style and function then a couple therapy appointment is established. That appointment runs like an individual psychotherapy appointment at $120.00 per hour. Appointments are usually given anywhere from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. since this office closes promptly at 5. There are no evening or weekend appointments available. It is important to understand that making couple therapy a real priority in your life goes a great way toward helping you make your marriage better.

It is common in initial couple therapy sessions for clients to do a great deal of complaining about the other person there with them in that marriage. It is the goal of couple therapy to make you as a client feel comfortable enough so that you begin to actually look at your own behavior and how you function or provide dysfunction in the marriage.

Individuals do not have to be legally married to enter couple therapy. In this office we have seen couples joined together in many different ways and therefore the act of couple therapy is simply a method to improve communication and to make the relationship more humane and less stressful.

Couples should attend couple therapy either every week or every two weeks. If the couple in therapy wishes to come less often than that then basically their frustration level is likely to be high because progress will be slowed dramatically by coming so infrequently. It is impossible to determine the length of couple therapy for any particular couple coming into therapy. In the past, lengths of time that couples have spent in couple therapy range from approximately two or three months to over one year.

It is never my method to determine or give an opinion about whether the couple should stay together or not. I do not feel I have the right as a psychotherapist to make such a statement. However, showing you the client how you are functioning in this couple relationship is my goal. In psychotherapy, often telling clients what they don’t want to hear but in a manner which is respectful and kind is certainly a common practice and is this psychologist’s manner of operation. Giving both individuals support for doing the right thing is also a method that is utilized by this psychologist.

Sometimes when a couple is being seen in psychotherapy they make the decision that they shall go forward with a divorce. It is extremely important to understand that what is said and what goes on in couple therapy can sometimes be discoverable by attorneys and judges in a divorce hearing. Certainly asking any attorney who has family law experience about how that record can be brought to the court by court order can be understood ahead of time.

I do take great pains not to appear in court as an expert witness for any couple that I have seen in psychotherapy. The two roles of being a therapist versus being an expert in the court system have very different methods and allegiances in general. If your own attorney in a divorce proceeding has a wish for the therapy record then a request in writing can be made. Only what was said in the individual session by you can be given to your attorney. What is said in the couple therapy session can only be shown to the other side’s attorney after a signed release by both parties has been performed or if a judge makes a specific order to this psychologist. Please understand that any request for records is reviewed by this psychologist’s own attorney and any record is only released after consultation with my own attorney.

I hope this explains the practice and methods utilized in our office during the process of COUPLE THERAPY.